Monday, November 17, 2008

Government bailouts

First the banking/investment/insurance industry got a HUGE one on our dime, and now the auto industry wants one.

I was not very happy with the banking industry bailout, and now Detroit wants one. I can see both sides of this because if either industry fails, we are screwed (not that we aren't already). If I were in charge of this bailout business, I would put a few rules in place. If they want bailouts, they have to accept that the money will come in small installments with a lot of strings attached.

1) All of the executives of the company will be immediately terminated. There will be no bonus packages, golden parachutes, and pensions/healthcare for life. Depending on the executive's performance, he or she may have to surrender some of the compensation that they previously received on the job. And executive privileges such as corporate jets with gold-plated toilets will be sold, with the money helping otu the company.
2) New executives will be hired at a rate of 10x the average employee's salary. Bonuses can be awarded based on performance but not for at least two years.
3) If one single job is outsourced, then all remaining bailout money will be forfeited. Any money already received by the government will be paid back to them at the highest interest rate that credit card companies are allowed to charge.
4) There will be no comapny-paid fancy vacations for any employees as long as the company is receiving government money. AIG I am talking to you. Any money used to benefit any executive will be paid back to the government at the interest rate charged by the most expensive payday lender.
5) No company receiving a government bailout loan will be allowed to have a lobbyist working for them in DC or any state government for the duration of the bailout, and for at least five years after the last dime of money is paid back to Uncle Sam.
6) After 6 months, government auditors need to come in and audit the company's finances. This process will be repeated every 6 months. If the auditors find any misuse of the company's finances, the remainder of the bailout will be forfeited, and the company will have to pay back the government at the highest interest rate charged by credit cards.
7) If after one year, the company shows no improvement (such as new products in development by Detroit, or refusing to loan out the money for the banks) then the bailout money will be forfeited and paid back at credit card interest rates. If the company fails, the compay fails.

1 comment:

home_chilled said...

I like your suggestions, however, the visual of a good old fashioned tar & feathering of industry execs would really draw some interest and do the taxpayer psyche a world of good as well. ; D

I say we make a hot time Saturday night of it in Vegas and charge to see it on Pay Per View! LOL

All proceeds to benefit the U.S. auto industry that they ran into the ground.